Saturday, October 18, 2008

A survey for all you parents out there

I have a question for all you parents out there. We all know that as parents we try to raise our children to be polite, not rude, and show respect. The children that always, or almost always, follow all the rules are the easiest to raise.

Here's my question and it pertains to attending school: Would you prefer to have a child that follows all or most of the rules in school, does ALL their homework on time and gets 'A's nearly all the time OR would you prefer to have a child that stretches the rules, breaking a few here and there; picks and chooses the subjects they want to do well in; and only gets 'A's in those same subjects, just squeaking by in the rest of the subjects?

In order to keep the focus as asked above, let's say that all the kids have learned and practice their manners well and know how to show respect to teachers and students.

I'll be interested to hear your thoughts on this. I have a theory as to the outcome later in life as to the two (out of many, I know) types of personalities I've outlined.


Chelsea said...

Are you trying to compare Courtney and me???

donna said...

Good one Chealsey,
But I do not think so because you were both good in all the subjects. Some subjects you each liked better or differently but you were both awesome students and kids (now you are both awesome young women..but can I still call you kids..please)

Well, Karen, you have left me out of this survey as I (woefully so) do not have children. But I have a lot of extended family nieces and am full of opinions. So I will answer anyway! I am of the opinion that we do not get a choice- they choose you! So if they came to me and said either of us could be your kid, which do you want, I would say the healthy one that laughs a lot. They would say, we do not laugh we are students. So give me the one then that bends the rules slightly, at least I will have a few laughs. Of course, this one is still courteous and kind and respectful and full of self esteem! (Hopefully self esteem and not just steam!)

Life sure has it's moments and those who laugh last.

detroit dog said...

I'm like Donna, in that I don't have children and I do have lots of opinions. Also, having once been a child in a family of 5 kids, I've got lots of memories.

Therefore, I say that I would prefer both kids, or either. I would be happy that they are either curious and studious, and/or know what they are good at and do that.


Anonymous said...

Hi everyone, well I've got 3 very different kids. First child does very well in school and always has, homework is done on time and without my aid and she follows all the rules IN SCHOOL while being very respectful. But, she pushes all the buttons her father an I have, is not respectful to us most of the time, is always breaking rules at home and is never helpful with chores. Second child has never enjoyed school, does not do well nor tries very hard to do well, barely passes his classes each year. Never does or turns in homework unless constantly pushed to. He's been evaluated and we've been told he's a very smart young man, but doesn't care to show it in his assignments (but tests well). He's respectful and follows most rules at school but doesn't care if he's caught not following rules at school. He's a very good kid at home, very sensitive and is always helpful and respectful to both of his parents and follows rules at home very well. Third child does well in school and tries hard every day, she follows all the rules at school and is very respectful to everyone. She is also very respectful at home to both parents, follows all the rules at home and always offers to help with chores.

Deb Hart

Karen Ethier said...

I want to revisit this blog posting in about 15 years or so with all who have replied so we can more or less evaluate the possibility of a child moving on in life after 18 and being happy, well-adjusted, and having a focus in life. Should be interesting. Thanks to all who have commented so far.

And I need to change the wording in the blog posting because I did not mean for it to exclude those of you without children. Donna, Veronica, you both have children that you have been very close to; Donna with your niece, my children, Madeline, others. And Veronica you grew up with a few siblings that, if I recall, you have had a hand in taking care of.

I find the relationship to home/environment vs. personality traits in regard to adult happiness very interesting.

Thanks again to all who have taken the time to comment.

Monty Frazer said...

As parents, we hope our children achieve “success” and happiness in life. The easiest, but not the only, avenue is for this to occur is for the child to perform well in all subjects. For example, if your child wants to be a physician, it would be easier to get into medical school with good grades in all subjects as opposed to good grades only in a select number of subjects. However, there is something to be said about passion and the willingness to challenge. If your child has a passion for a subject and tends to “stretch the rules”, then there are careers (in science, literature, music, art, etc.) where passion and an ability to challenge the status quo can lead to great acclaim.

I would prefer my children to have good grades in all subjects as this path would give them more options in life. However, I would also be very happy for them if they found a subject they were passionate about and could earn a living at it even if it meant a less than stellar overall GPA. The key point in my mind is whether the child is happy with their work and the associated lifestyle of their chosen career path.

Rosie the Riveted said...

I think it's important to learn to play the "game", whatever it may be. I want my daughter to learn to keep her eyes and ears open and ..when in Rome... That way she will be comfortable in any social setting and will be able to get into whatever is happening around her. Whether that means following the rules....hmmm. Maybe. But, going deeper, learn the rules so you can learn the boundaries and then see if you need to say in the lines or color outside. At least you'll understand the risk you take and can make an informed decision.